Take a second and answer this question: How do you feel about your marriage? Is it where you want it to be? Is the spark still there? Are you as close as you’d like to be? Has the stress of everyday living gotten to it?
Be brutally honest.
I know we are all in different stages of marriage. Some are in the new, can’t-get-my-hands-off-of-you bliss. Others are wondering where that feeling went. Others have been very hurt and have tender feelings. Some are just caught in the everyday monotony of life.
Wherever you are in that spectrum— I want to shake things up a bit.
Marriage is dynamic, always changing. Just like anything worthwhile in life, it takes work. Focused work. It has the potential to grow strong, firm and powerful, but also the ability to whither and shrink. The outcome lies with us.
Which way do you want your marriage to go? I want mine to continue to grow as strong as an incredibly, deeply-rooted tree that can withstand anything. But I know without consciously prioritizing it I. Won’t. Get. There.
So this month, I’m throwing down a challenge. To me. To you. I stumbled across a fabulous book. It’s called The Husband Project, by Kathi Lipp. It is 21 Days of loving your husband- on purpose and with a plan. 21 days of putting your husband first. 21 days of serving, helping, and blessing him. 21 days of getting closer. 21 days of building a new spark. It’s putting him first, before kids, work, and housework.
Are you in?
I totally am. We’re going to start Monday. *insert girly squeal*
Here’s how it’ll go down: For 21 days, you’ll have one assignment to do everyday. The assignment centers around your husband. Most of them are pretty easy and don’t require a lot of planning, but some do. So I’ll post all of the week’s assignments on Sunday, so you can read through them. (All the ideas come from Kathi’s book).
And here’s the trick: Don’t tell him about it. Just do it. Work it into your regular routine. He may notice. He may not. But you will. I have a feeling the magic that will happen in this project, is not how your husband feels, but how you feel about him. You know that saying- “you grow to love those you serve”? Yeah. Stuff like that.
My goal is to post everyday for the 21 days, updating you on the project (and I would LOVE to hear from you on how it’s going for you!) So check back Monday for ideas!
To give you a sample, here are the projects for week one. Seven projects with one bonus project. (The bonus projects revolve around intimacy. I’ll keep it G-rated. I know my mother-in-law reads this. Hey Patty!) 🙂
- Monday: Focus on your husband’s transitional 30 minutes today as he gets home from work. Create some free space for him- does he need a minute to lay down? Undivided attention from you? Give him some time just for him. If you both work, you might need to get extra creative. You can do it!
- Tuesday: Send him a flirty text.
- Wednesday: Say something nice about your husband to another person. And then make sure you tell him about it.
- Thursday: Get him a treat that he doesn’t have to share with anyone else. Pick out something you know he’ll love to eat!
- Friday: Initiate an activity that your husband loved to do before you got married. (For me, that’s going to be bowling. Sigh… wish me luck.)
- Saturday: Do something to help your husband enjoy physical touch- massage, new bedsheets, new pillows, cutting the tags off his itchy shirt…
- Sunday: Do one thing to look good for your husband. New shirt? Get your hair out of a ponytail? You pick. 🙂
- Bonus Project: Initiate intimacy (work this in sometime during the week). I’ll let you figure out what this means for you. Keep it in your own comfort zone, even if it just means snuggling up. Let him know you love him!
What do you think? Juggle around the days if you need to. Make the plan flexible around your marriage and family. Even if you can only do one of these things. It’s worth it! Your marriage is worth it!
I can’t wait to hear all about your success!