The Husband Project: Week 3

I’m sorry this is two days late!!! The sudden onset of summer has hit me like a tsunami.  I took the selfie above while I was locked in the laundry room with a tub of homemade cookies.   My two-year-old was peeking under the door.  Hello summer.

Here are the assignments for the last week of The Husband Project.  I hope this has been a great experience for you.  Even if you just casually threw in a few of the assignments, I hope it blessed your life.  I know it did mine.

Your last projects:  (Try to work in as many as you can!)

  • Monday: Get rid of one item of clothing you know your husband is not in love with.  If it’s a favorite that you’ll have a hard time parting with, go ahead and purchase a replacement you know your guy will like. (Maybe old, holey pajamas? Underwear safety-pinned together?  Toss it.)
  • Tuesday: In some way today, let your husband know that you’re attracted to him physically.  Tell him he’s hot!  If you can throw in a not-run-of-the-mill kiss, that’d boost it even more.
  • Wednesday:  Give your husband some time off.  Let him come home one evening and just relax (or maybe it’ll be Saturday morning.  No chores, just let him be him.)  Try to get some of his chores done before he gets to them.  It is summer- have the kids help.  I worked this assignment in last week with Mike.  I let him come home, gave him the remote and said go watch the soccer game, I’ve got dishes.  I think it was a breath of fresh air for him.
  • Thursday:  Take him out to his favorite restaurant.  If you’re tight on money, try to make a dish from that restaurant.  If you want to make it extra special- ambush him right when he gets home and take an impromptu date.
  • Friday: Create an atmosphere of a Bed & Breakfast in your room.  Here are a few ideas to pick from:  Clean out the clutter, dust and vacuum.  New sheets.  New bedspread.  Fresh flowers.  Light some candles.  Soft music.  Turn off the TV.  Make a tray of delights- fresh fruit tray, cheese and crackers, chocolate nibbles.  Make it a fun, positive, soft atmosphere.
  • Saturday:  Let him win the media wars as you suggest an action-packed-car-chasing-things-exploding thriller.  Or whatever HE likes to watch.  And then snuggle up!
  • Sunday: Leave a cute, flirty note for your husband to find.  Mike totally won at this yesterday.  I walked into my office and found the sweetest note he left on my whiteboard.  I melted on the spot.  I can’t wait to reciprocate this week!
  • Bonus Project: Figure out some time this week for initiating intimacy with your guy when the two of you are alone!!!

Whew!  And then you’re done!  Did you notice anything positive from your efforts?  Did you see any changes in your marriage?  Your spouse?  Yourself?

I felt more connected to Mike.  I realized it only takes a minute to bless and think about him.  I realized I already do a lot for him, but can improve in many ways.

Kathi suggests continuing along this path.  She chooses one day a week (always Wednesdays for her)  to focus on her husband.  Making sure she is cooking something he likes, giving him a bit of a break, and building him up.  I love that idea and am implementing it next week.

Good luck on the projects this week and thanks a ton for all your feedback!  You guys are the best!

Love Dawnie

 

The Husband Project: Day 11, 12 & 13

Hi guys!  Happy Summer!  I wasn’t sure it would ever come.

I’m popping in today to give the projects for Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  It’s the first week of summer and I know things are CRAZY!  I’m going to lump them all together right now, so you know what’s coming and try to fit a few of them in when you can.

Friday: Tell your husband something about him that you think is simply great.  Really make this compliment count.  Boost his self-worth.  Be sincere.

Saturday:  Help your husband get one of his regular duties off his list, or come alongside him and help in a project that he enjoys.  Just hang around him and help out.  Let him feel that you love being around him.

Sunday:  Make your husband something special in the kitchen.  Maybe a yummy dinner, cold drink, special dessert.  Use the lazy Sunday afternoon to create something fun.

And don’t forget…. The Bonus Project:  Initiate intimacy.  😉

Have a fabulous weekend!  Enjoy the sunshine and put your family first.

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 11

Wahoo!  We’re past halfway through The Husband Project.  I hope you’re enjoying it as much as I am.

I loved wearing my pearl earrings yesterday.  I felt connected to Mike all day and enjoyed seeing them every time I passed the mirror.  Not sure he noticed, but I did!

Did you wear anything special?  How did you feel?

Today’s goal: Kathi calls it the “Stress-Be-Gone.”  I love this name.  Your focus is to remove one stressor from his life.  Figure out what makes him feel a tiny sense of defeat each day and plan to remove it.

I’m torn between two things today.

One:  When I park in the garage, I’m usually hauling mounds of kids, groceries, scooters and/or library books.  I need a lot of room to get those unloaded, so I tend to park closer to the middle, instead of my assigned side spot.  So when Mike gets home, he has to squeeeeze in his compact car.  Inching in bit by bit.  And it’s a good thing he’s skinny because he has to suck in and shimmy his way out of the car.  I know it bugs him to NO END.  Maybe today, I’ll try to park a little bit more responsibly.

Two:  There is nothing more exhausting than giving a strong-willed two-year-old a bath after a long, stressful day.  It’s fun to snuggle, sing and read with her AFTER the bath, but the bath is slightly torturous.  Maybe I should take that off his plate today.  If I’m feeling up to it, maybe I’ll do both.  Depends on how many groceries I buy. 🙂

Here are some other ideas from Kathi’s book:

  • Does he have to move a mountain of bicycles in the driveway before he can pull in?  Have the kids clear them off tonight.
  • Is he a clean freak that comes home to a huge pile of laundry on the couch?  Clean it off.
  • Is your bathroom sink full of product and makeup?  Clean it up so he can have some man-space to brush his teeth.
  • Does he have a watch that needs a new battery, a piece of luggage with a broken handle, a favorite shirt with the button missing?  Take care of the little annoyance, not to be thanked, but just to make his life a little easier.
  • Where’s his favorite spot in the house?  If it’s the chair by the TV, make sure the remote is handy.

What are your ideas?  How are you going to make his life a tiny bit easier today?

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 10

Today’s project is simple.

The goal:  Wear something just for your husband.  You can buy something, or just pick out an item you already have.  He might not even notice (cough, cough…  Mike) 🙂  But YOU will know.  And that will change something, spark something inside of you.

It can be anything.  Maybe throw a nice skirt on instead of jeans, or wear those special earrings he gave you last Christmas.  What’s his favorite color?  Does he have a favorite sports team?  Wear a shirt with their logo.  Has he said you look nice in a certain outfit?  Wear it today.

My husband gave me some beautiful pearl earrings 13 years ago.  I wore them at my wedding.  I always feel his love whenever I wear them.  I’m pulling them out tomorrow.  Even if it is the last day of school and I’ll be out sweating on the playground.  At least my earlobes will be in style and I’ll be thinking of him.

What will you wear? (P.S. Hang in there! We’re about halfway through this project. We’re gonna make it.)

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 9

Do you ever pray for your husband?

Do you ever pray for his heaviest burdens?  His struggles at work?  His biggest worries?  His happiness?  I know I could be better at this.  Way, way better.  I hate to admit it, but many of my prayers are a bit…. well, self-centered.

I’m working on it.

Today’s goal is to set up reminders during your day to think of him and pray for him.  Set an alarm on your phone every couple hours to remind you to pause and think of him.  Or put a picture of him on your car dashboard.  Or a note in your planner, or as my flaky brain needs, a large note on the kitchen counter with his name on it.

Whatever it is, think and pray for him.  (And could I also suggest: adding pleas for your marriage?  For it’s strength, continued fortitude, and enduring understanding.)

And then let him know he’s been on your mind.  Whether through text, quick call or conversation at home.  Let him know you’ve been thinking of him and praying for his happiness.

I am expecting tomorrow to be sweet, full of thoughts of him and heaven.  I can’t think of a better combination.

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Week 2 Assignments

I have loved this week of focusing on my husband.  I feel a lightness, a fondness and an energy that is stronger than before.

Do you feel it too?

And, oh man, it was not an easy week for us.  My husband and I were down with strep throat the entire week.  He missed four days of work and I was a zombie walking.  It wasn’t pretty.

But I did it.  Somehow I completed all the projects.  I had to reel them in a bit, though.  It was not nearly as exciting as I wanted it to be.  We didn’t make it bowling, but we planned some camping trips and dreamed.  I didn’t get new sheets, but I did miraculously wash the ones we have.  Small successes.

And praise heaven for antibiotics.

So this week, I’m going to make it a bit more fun.  (Imagine I said this happy and light instead of teeth gritted, slightly desperate.  Stupid strep throat.) 🙂

Here are your assignments.  Read them through, look at your calendar and switch up the days as necessary. (Thanks again Kathi for your ideas!)

  • Monday:  Get him a treat (something yummy) and serve it in a fun location.  Hot chocolate in bed.  S’mores in the backyard.  Picnic at the park.  Cold soda waiting in the garage as he pulls in.  Bring the kids along if you need to.  Be creative.
  • Tuesday:  Set up reminders during your day to think and pray for your husband.  Let him know sometime during the day that he has been on your mind.
  • Wednesday:  Wear something just for him, whether you buy something new or pick an item you already own.  He might not notice, but you will.  (That will change something inside you).
  • Thursday:  Remove one stressor from his life.  Figure out what makes him feel a tiny sense of defeat each day and plan to remove it. (Can I just mention kid bath time?  That’s what I’ll be eliminating.  Well, for him, not the kids.)
  • Friday:  Tell your husband something about him that you think is simply great.
  • Saturday:  Help your husband get one of his regular duties off his list, or come alongside him and help in a project that he enjoys.
  • Sunday:  Make your husband something special in the kitchen.
  • Bonus Project:  As always, sometime this week, initiate intimacy.  Maybe buy something special to wear. 🙂 (and it doesn’t have to cost a lot, even Walmart has fun items… just saying.)

And one more thing.  This week as you do your projects, notice which things your husband responds to most.  I am going to do a post at the end of this challenge about The Five Love Languages.  I believe they are powerful and understanding them will increase the power in your relationship.

So notice which he responds to- gifts?  Words of encouragement?  Acts of service?  Touch? Quality time?  Be deliberate and pay attention.  We’ll follow up on that in a couple weeks!

Good luck!  Can’t wait to hear all about it!

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 6 & 7

With the crazy weekend starting today, I thought I’d lump the two days into one post.  Mix in the projects whenever you can!

Day 6 Goals: Do something to help your husband enjoy physical touch.  Find something that will help him relax.  New pillows, massage lotions, a back rub… your choice.

Ideas:   Each husband will be different.  Even if he doesn’t love massages or lotions, maybe he has something that bugs him- a lumpy pillow, old blankets on the couch, scratchy tags on his shirt.  Think of one way you can add a little comfort to his day.  Maybe put a new, snugly blanket by the TV or get some new pillows.  Maybe you need to work in small, new ways you can hold his hand or touch his knee or snuggle up close while watching a show.  Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

And for the second day:

Day 7 Goals:  Do one thing to look nice just for your guy.  It can be clothes, hair or makeup.

Ideas:  The side benefit of this project, is you’ll feel great, too!  Dressing up just a bit always makes me feel better, even if I’m just faking it.

Just pick one thing to spice up.  I know I’ll be sitting at soccer games all day Saturday, but instead of my usual sweats, I’m going to try and wear some cute jeans, t-shirt and lip gloss.  We’ll see if anyone notices!

I also recently spoke with a friend about this.  Her husband loves her in a certain t-shirt.  I hope she wears it this weekend! 😉

Good luck! And have a great weekend.  I’ll be posting your assignments for next week this Sunday, so check back!

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 5

Whew! Day 5.  How you guys doing?  I survived the root beer floats.  I’m feeling pretty good about myself. 🙂  I thought I’d throw in a picture of my awesome hubby.  Isn’t he cute?

Today’s Goal:  Initiate an activity that your husband used to love.  Whether it’s his favorite hobby, sport or pastime, it’s time for you to get involved.  Be his buddy.

Ideas:  Take a minute to brainstorm what he used to do with his free time…. can you think of anything?

Cue the crickets.

It took me a minute to come up with things that were truly him.  First I came up with: watch soccer, play soccer, talk about soccer, shop for soccer stuff (he’s a little lopsided with his interests)  🙂  But then I dug deep and remembered he loved bowling when we were dating.  He also loved to drive up the canyons, go camping, and shop for camping gear.  He also loved to play pool.  And play board games.

When did we stop doing all those things? Argh.

But that’s changing today.  In fact, last night we pulled out the UNO cards and played a quick game after dinner.  Tonight?  We’re planning out summer camping trips.  It’s fun to watch his eyes light up as he plans.

Is your mind spinning with ideas yet?  Here are a few more ideas if you’re stuck:

  • Does he have an all-time favorite movie?  Rent it.  Pop some popcorn.
  • Can you get a magazine about his favorite hobby?
  • Ask him to teach you how to do his favorite sport or game.
  • Snuggled up while he’s watching the big game this weekend.  Don’t talk too much, just sit and enjoy.
  • Try to find a cool website about something he loves and ask him about it.

I’m really enjoying the fun, exciting emotions that are coming as I help him rekindle some fun.  I hope you are too!  Have a great Friday!

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 4

I loved hearing all about the texts you’ve sent your husband.  You guys are amazing!  And the saying something nice yesterday?  I hope it made you feel all warm, and squishy inside.  I know it did for me!

Today’s goal is easy and fun- FOOD!  What guy doesn’t love food?

Today’s goal:  Buy your husband a treat he loves AND that he doesn’t have to share.  Not even with you.

Ideas:  My husband loves Root Beer Floats.  Weird, right?  All that cream mixed in with the carbonation, puffing up, empty bubbles, getting stickiness everywhere.  Not my jam.  But he loves it.  I remember in college, we would go to the local A&W and get a chilled mug full with root beer floats.  He was in heaven.

But fast forward 13 years, and he rarely gets his favorite treat (my bad) and when he does, he has to share with four other hungry little mouths.

But not today.

Today he gets his own treat.  All to himself.  I’m headed to the store and will go against all that is good and buy root beer AND ice cream.  I’m even going to try and find a mug that chills for the extra fun factor.

What about you?  What is your husband’s favorite treat?  If you don’t know, ask him!  Does he have a favorite dinner that you don’t know how to make?  Learn how and make it for him.

Whatever it is, remember the ultimate goal here:  make him feel loved and special.  And the secondary goal:  get your mind thinking about him and putting him first!

P.S. Don’t forget about the Bonus Project this week- initiating intimacy.  Get busy (ahem, I mean get started on this soon!  It’s already Wednesday!)

Love Dawnie

The Husband Project: Day 3

How’d it go yesterday?  Did you get your fun, flirty text out?  How did he respond?  I bet, even if he didn’t say anything, it made him feel great.

Today’s assignment is a bit different.  Have you ever been in a group of women when they get talking about their husbands?  What is the tone of those conversations?  My experience is usually negative.  I hate conversations like that.

Today we can change that.

From the time you read this today, try to fill your mind with positive things you love about your husband (if you need some help, there’s a good starting list below.)  Keep a mental list.

I am a true believer that your thoughts and words have a huge impact on your outlook on life.  My favorite practice of saying what went well goes right along with your marriage.  Imagine picking out three positive things about your husband,….(what went well) instead of the negative.  Imagine how that’d change your perspective.

Today’s goal:  Say something nice about your husband to someone else.  Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.

Ideas: Be intentional about who you chat with.  Who are the important people in his life?  Your kids, your parents, his friends?  It could be anything positive that you brag about, even if it was from years ago!  If you’re stuck, here are a few of Kathi’s ideas:

  • His parenting skills
  • His patience level
  • The way he treats your mom
  • His culinary ability
  • His job
  • His loyalty to you

And then make sure you tell him about it.  Who you said it to and what you said.  Watch his reaction.  How do you think you made him feel?  How did it make you feel?  Do you think this would be worth making this a conscious habit?  The power of positive talk is incredible.

Here’s my brag to you guys on my husband:  He is sooo good at teaching my children things.  Things that I totally lose patience on- like riding a bike and tying shoes.  And, when they’re old enough, it’ll be driving a car.  This weekend he taught my stubborn-to-the-core, 9-year-old how to ride a bike.  With only minimal tears.  I seriously didn’t think it could be done, but he did it.  He’s awesome.

Now get out there and do the same!!!!

Love Dawnie